How To Reduce Anxiety And Communicate Effectually
Balancing Connection And Conviction By Manahil Noman (Clinical Psychologist)
Have you ever felt the need to be a certain way so as to seek approval? Before putting your point across to other people, have you ever feared being negatively evaluated by others? These things can possibly lead to anxiety so maintaining a balance is very important.
Connection is how much you are connected to others or how much you are cut-off from them. Psychology says that staying connected to others is part of being healthy but when this connection goes overboard and turns into dependency, seeking too much approval from others, or being too afraid of criticism, can lead to isolation and can increase your anxiety instead if improving it. Maintaining a connection means you validate others in their feelings, provide them a listening ear, and show interest in their affairs. For instance a friend comes to you and tells you about what is going on at their job, you actively listen to them and show interest so that they know you care about them. The key here is to not be avoidant and indifferent.
Conviction is how rigid you are in your beliefs. Has it ever been that you tried putting a point across but the other was not as understanding of it and was able to see their own perspective only? That is exactly how others may feel if you are being too rigid in our point of views. According to Psychology, the key here is to first understand where the other person is coming from. This would validate their feelings and their side of the story. Then, you can let them know how you see things differently and tell them your side of the story. This helps in avoiding conflict and at the same time you are able to put your own point across instead of seeking approval. Both sides of the story will be validated this way.
Being able to differentiate from others plays a big role in this. When you hear another person, instead of immediately giving an emotional reply, you can try to understand where they are coming from, validate them, and then put your own point across. This means taking into consideration their thoughts and feelings as well as minding your own. This way your anxiety will also decrease and both parties will feel validated. When you validate someone, it is likely that they will validate you too!