Partnership: Consistency or Chemistry.. What Matters More?
Consistency is a purer form of love
Chemistry feels so great, doesn’t it? It feels like we’re on cloud nine. And of course, it is okay too, especially at the beginning of a relationship but..yes there’s a “but”. It is okay as long as you know that it is a phase that will pass. You might have heard the term “honeymoon phase”? Well, that is what it is. That is why we shouldn’t depend on it for the long term.
So why isn’t it okay to depend on chemistry? Isn’t that what keeps the spark? Sure, it does! But this is only helpful in the beginning. Depending on chemistry for too long can blind us to reality. It may feel amazing but it is not a good predictor of a strong relationship because it can make ignorant to our significant others’ worst or toxic traits and push us to keep up with them. So does the idea of chemistry and spark feel as attractive now? Well, it should be but only if you know that it is a phase.
During this honeymoon or “sparkly” phase, the frequency of conflicts is either less or does not exist at all and it almost feels like our partner can do no wrong. Once this phase is over, consistency is what matters. There is no doubt that later on, hardships will come and challenging decisions will have to be made and during the tough times, it is likely that conflicts may occur. This is where the consistency part comes in handy. How are you going to get through it together? Consistency.
Consistency is a combination partnership behaviors whichmake you and your significant other able to trust and depend on one another along with a strong desire to have companionship and form a strong relationship. Trust and dependability in a partnership does not simply bloom out of nowhere. It emerges from consistent behaviors. The more consistent the interactions are between two people (like predictable behaviors and good communication), the more successful the partnership will be.
It is also advisable to be honest about your wants and needs. Say, you’re missing the chemistry that was present at the start of your partnership; you can always revive that by trying new activities together, having a candle light dinner, or going on a romantic getaway.
Summing it all up, Consistency is a more pure form of love than Chemistry. Also, every partnership is different. Finding the right kind of balance or even the right partner for the right kind of balance can be challenging. Every couple would have different ways to keep it going strong and every couple will balance consistency and chemistry in different ways. You just have to figure out yours!