Trusting the process of Letting Go
How to save yourself from holding on for too long
We all have parts. There are parts about us that make us shine. Those are the parts we should stick to; the ones which make our lives move forward, the ones which truly make us feel connected to our inner selves, the ones that help us cope in our times of struggle. Then there are those parts about us which dim our light; our fears, our insecurities, our past, our failures, our negative self-talk, and our self-doubts.
There are steps to save yourself from the parts which dim your light. How to save yourself from holding on for too long:
When you’re hurt, be your own hero
There are times when we feel hurt by another person and in those times it may seem like only they can fix what has been broken. Sometimes they may be able to fix it by apologizing or doing something that would help compensate the hurt. However, this may not always be the case. In that case, be your own hero and save yourself. Sometimes the person who hurt you will not be the one to save you.
Don’t wait for the person to apologize
There are times when we expect an apology from the person who has hurt us but there will be times when the other person may not apologize so stop waiting. I know that it’s not as easy as it sounds.. in fact, it’s actually really hard when the intensity of hurt is more. But trust me, there is something empowering about letting go of the expectation that they’re going to say sorry. Besides, waiting for an apology can actually slow down the healing process!
Acknowledge your feelings
Processing feelings and emotions is vital. There are plenty of ways to process feelings, that is, talking to someone we trust, talking to a therapist, writing down our feelings, drawing our feelings or simply just taking out time to think about and feel our emotions even if it means crying or punching a pillow.
When someone has done wrong to us, forgiving or not forgiving is a choice we have. I will only suggest this if the reader is willing to forgive. Sometimes you forgive a person not for them but for yourself. Forgiving, in many cases, frees us from burden and give us peace. Also remember that forgiveness does not mean you make the person a part of your life. If you’ve let go the toxicity, then stick by it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you bringing the person back.
Focus on the present
Focusing too much on the past can induce the future with anxiety. Be sure to practice staying in the present moment. Focus on what is happening right now, perhaps even in this very moment, rather than what has happened and what will happen.
Have faith that it will get okay
As cliché as it sounds, having faith that things will be okay helps. Just because we feel a certain negative way right now and things are difficult does not mean we will keep feeling the same and everything will stay the same. Things change over time and so do our feelings.
Practice positive self-talk
Sometimes we may be being too hard on ourselves. We have to learn to think about ourselves, feel about ourselves, and talk to ourselves in a positive way. Doing this would help in rewiring our negative thoughts which will help especially if we have low self-esteem or low confidence, or if we talk to ourselves negatively.